What Happened When I Let Go of Food Rules

When I let go of strict eating rules and made the commitment to healing my relationship with food and my body, I didn’t know how to listen or respond to my body’s hunger and fullness cues.

I had been following a strict food plan that told me exactly what to eat, how much, and when, so I could maintain a small body size without having to make any decisions.

But that wasn’t a sustainable way of eating for me in the long term, because I didn’t feel freedom or ease with that kind of rigidity.

When I did finally let go of that way of eating, I felt kind of in the dark.

I didn’t really know the difference between physical hunger and craving.

I couldn’t really tell when the desire to eat was coming from an emotional need versus a physical need.

I also didn’t know how to let the voice saying “NOM NOM NOM EAT IT ALL” be in the background without letting it control my behavior.

It took time to learn to listen to my body, and to trust what it was telling me. And to change my relationship with each of my bingey foods by showing up fully to how overeating them really felt in my body afterwards.

And that period of learning came along with some weight gain as a necessary part of that healing process.

It has taken a long time to uncouple my emotions from my eating patterns, and I’m still not 100% there yet. But I trust the path I’m on, and I am always trending in the direction of more skillful and aware.

I trust that the weight will come off eventually as I get better and better at listening to my body and acting out of wisdom rather than craving.

But I know I can’t achieve the peace I want if I get in too much of a hurry or start grasping after weight loss from a place of self loathing.

Peace around food requires us to learn to be kind to ourselves and our bodies no matter their size.

The conscious eating path is one of presence. It is a call for self compassion and being with what is, and sometimes that might include being with a larger body for a time.

If you’re curious about the conscious eating path, you can learn more about the work we’re doing here.

❤️ Katie

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